The Hell of Love

I want you so bad it hurts me so.
It hurts like pure hell not being able to be with you.
She has always been my closest friend and then you came along.
My poetry betrays my thoughts.

I am vulnerable.
I kick and scream cause I have to be alone.
I was good to Dottie and I was good to Rosemary.
You can ask Dottie's kids and they will tell I was good to her.

You can read her diary and her sister has it
and it will show her she felt about me.
I rebel cause I have to be alone.
What I did I do to deserve this hell?

It is like God is punishing me.
I have failed you so many times.
I didn't want to hurt you any more.
It one thing to actually have a real person with you.

But how do you deal with being alone?
The impatience gets so trying at times.
I deal with it the best way I know how.
It isn't very easy thats for sure.

There are times when I wish I didn't have a heart
because that way I know it couldn't hurt.
If I had no thoughts I know
I could accept being alone.