Fade Away

Sitting on that cold tub tile,
Knowing I'm going into denial.
Denying that ever happened.
But it did,
And it kills me,
Knowing I want to die that badly.
Knowing I'm failing so sadly.
I got out the razor,
Looked at it closely,
Replaced it with a new one,
Less dull,
The depression starting to lull
Me into my death.
And it was new,
And shiny,
My knuckles turned white
Grasping it so tight.
And I wondered if it could cut me,
And slowly
I moved it up to my bare wrist.
And I pulled it away
And I knew that every day
Is harder and harder.
Somehow I knew that it wouldn't cut me,
But I know something that will.
It sits in his bathroom,
Sealing my doom.
A sharper razor.
And now I need to know,
Do I want to die?
What should I do?
Can I live here with you
And longer?
So I have to decide,
A big decision to make.
And the trip is tomorrow-
Should I drown in my sorrow
Or just let it fade away?
I know where he keeps it,
But it's a big leap to make.
Should I pack it
And let the razor hit
The bare skin on my wrists?
That's the question I face.
What should I do while packing tonight?
And the trip is tomorrow-
Should I drown in my sorrow
Or just let it fade away?
Biggest decision to make-
Decided today.