You Made me Die

I'm surprised when I sort through old words that I wrote about you
How ignorant I was, it makes me laugh and cry
I wish that that you could've proven me wrong, so instead you made me die.

I was lost without you
I felt so alone so scared
I couldn't uerstand why the hell you would hurt me
I actually believed that you cared.
It was so hard to begin with but finally you faded away,
Now I can barely remember the color of your eyes
To forget you, still I pray.
I wish to be washed away of you, because the pain it was awful to the point of unbearable
The nightmares, I couldn't eat I couldn't breath
It was so terrible.
I know that our relationship was a disappointment
I realize I was not perfect
The fact, however that you could kill me and not even wince
Was I really such a horrible person, none of this makes any since!
I was addicted to you
I needed you and wanted you
What the hell did you do?
You held her and you loved her and then you killed me slowly
Telling me I didn't matter and I wasn't deserving.
It's depressing, I know, but I've lost my care
I've learned, from you, nothing in this life is fair.
Because of you I fight everyday to become who I was before you ruined me
I know my limits on where to place my trust
I wish that you had actually loved me, instead...for her, you gave into lust.
All of the good times, they were all one big lie
The day has long past since we said hello, and then good-bye.

Things are already better, I had wounds but they have healed
I hide my scars because there's no reason for them to be revealed.

I knew that we were only temporary, everybody told me that we would never last
I never thought though, that I would be so soon in your past.

You told me that you missed me,
And I told you that you can't miss what you never had
Everything that you told me, or felt for me, or made me feel for you was fake
To you, I was just another fad.

-Manda-

(It's long...I know but any advice on my writing style would be appriciated! Thanks.)