Soon comes the end

I sit on the cold floor
reading the note over again
i read the first sentence
"Can we just be friends?"

i begin to cry
I can no longer hold in tears
I held them in all day
along with all my fears

All day i smiled and laughed
just like nothing was wrong
I hid every single pain
i stood tall and strong

When really all i wanted
was to break down and cry
i have made my final choice
it's time for me to die

Maybe then you'll understand
how much you mean to me
without you i'm nothing
no more light i will see

Now it's time to say goodbye
to my family and friends
then it is time to say goodbye
to myself, soon comes the end

"I love you mom and dad,
thank you for everything you've done,
you mean so much to me
being with you was always fun...

Please dont cry it's my time
i no longer need my life
i'm sorry you have to see me like this
but here is the knife...

i have used all along
to create cuts on my side
i dont have anything on my wrists
because those are to hard to hide...

I know that you will miss me
but remember what i say
that i am always with you
i will be here everyday...

I'll never leave you all alone
just like he did to me
i'll always be right by your side
even if you can not see...

i really truly do love you
and i will forever more
i promise you i'm here for you
i'm sorry you had to see me dead on the floor"

i know mom and dad
will eventually be ok
i know that they love me
but they'll miss me everyday

Time to write to sissy
and then to my best friend
then it is time to say goodbye
to myself, soon comes the end

"Hey sis i know you'll miss me
but i hope that you know
that i've always loved you
even when it didnt show...

Thanks for being there for me
and listening to me cry
but now you dont need to
it was my time to die...

Sissy i love you
please never forget me
i'll always be with you
forever and ever you will see...

watch out for mom and dad
help them get through this
you're such a strong girl
i'll always love you sis."

"Hey hun just writing to say
that you mean the world to me
Thank you for always caring
and helping me to see...

that there was always someone out there
who really does care
thank you for all the sweet things you've said
and thanks for always being there...

I dont know what i would have done
if i didnt have you
thanks for being my best friend
i know you'll make it through...

i'm sorry that you had to see
me in all this pain
but i couldnt take anymore
i was going insane...

promise me one thing
you'll never let a guy
get to you like i did
that's why i choose to die

he broke up with me for her
and i just couldnt bare
i couldnt stand the thought of him
never again being there

hun i really love you
from the bottom of my heart
never let anyone
rip your heart apart

Thank you again for all you're help
in getting me through
my first and second heartbreak
but now my time is through"

Done with my family
and my best friend
now only one note left to write
soon comes the end

"Hello for the last time
thanks for making me cry
thanks for putting me through this pain
and causing me to die...

You really dont understand
how much you mean to me
you just dont understand
and i know you'll never see...

Why did you say you cared
when that obviously was a lie
i just dont understand
why you had to make me cry...

Well now you'll never see my face
because i'm no longer here
you broke my heart so now i'm gone
i can no longer shed a tear...

I hope you're happy with her
and that you live a happy life
thanks for all the great times we had
now it's time to get the knife...

i'll leave a blood stain
printed on this note
here is the necklace
and you're leather coat...

Also in this letter
you will get a pill
so you know how i died
how i decided to kill..."

Now it's time to say goodbye
i pick up the first pill
put it in the last note i wrote
and now it's time to kill

I swallow the first pill
and read the note again
"...this is no longer working
i just want to be friends"

another tear comes down my cheek
as i swallow 2 more
i decide to get off my bed
and to die on the floor

Now i swallow 4
so far i've swallowed 7
soon my life will end
soon i'll be in heaven

I swallow 3 more
now i'm up to 10
i should feel the burning soon
soon comes the end

I swallow 4 more
to represent the weeks
that me and him were one
i can feel more tears fall down my cheeks

I start to feel burning
i know the end comes soon
i'm ready to die
right here in my bedroom

now my legs go numb
i can no longer feel my hands
maybe now he'll realize
now he'll understand

everything turns white
now it is all black
soon comes the end
there is no turning back