I need help from all of you up above

by AnorexicDream   Nov 9, 2005


*i wrote this earlier and i wanted to post it its a note to my 13 friends that have killed themselves this year*

To all of you up above,

13 of you have left me by suicide. You have left me here with very little hope. I am continuing to hold on because i refuse to leave. I will not hurt my friends like that. I am not writing this to make you feel guilty or anything at all like that i am simply writing this as a cry for help. As much as i want to stay strong, it gets harder everyday. I need you guys to help me, help me hang on. I need you to do this for me. I tried to be there for you all when you were here and asked for almost nothing, i just really need this. I care about so many people that i think care about me, I'm scared that if i happen to leave so will they. I refuse to be the cause of that. so i ask again i need help from you. As of late my cuts have been getting deeper and they bleed longer. Cutting hasn't really been helping so i have been burning myself too. I threw myself down a flight of stairs the other day, and i purposely fell off monkey bars. As hard as it is to admit i know i need help. i don't want help from a stranger or someone who will pretend like they know me... i want help from you. So please if you read/hear this please give me strength to hold on.

i love and miss all of you terribly

all my love and more

Amanda

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Latest Comments

  • 19 years ago

    by Katlynn

    Amanda i love you so much hun. This letter really scares me alot. We all love you on this damn earth even though most of us hate being here. You just gotta stay strong you gotta keep on praying because we all freaken love you so much. I wished i lived near you for i can help you even more i know words won't help much but at least it kinda would. I love you again and again no matter what. Just remember next time you make a scar it's getting deeper and it's scary us all so please stop cutting please just stay strong and love all of us and don't do anything stupid. Hun you mean so much to me even though i live here and you live there still no matter what. I love you like i have said. Keep it up. keep on writing because you are very talented. love always and forever. no matter what.

  • 19 years ago

    by alyssa

    I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AMANDA I WISH I COULD JUST HELP YOU MORE. I KNOW IM NOT THAT MUCH OF A HELP AND I FEEL LIKE I LET YOU DOWN BY WHAT I DID(i know you say i didnt), BUT I JUST FEEL SO BAD ABOUT IT. I WONT LEAVE YOU ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT WERE IN THIS TOGETHER NO MADDER WHAT, ITS ME AND YOU GIRL ILL ALWAYS BE HERE

    GOOD LETTER IT MADE ME CRY

    ***ALYSSA***

  • 19 years ago

    by Fighter (Ariane L.)

    Aww hun, you know i'm always there when you need someone to talk to. i'm glad you're holding on, i'm very proud of you. take care and stay strong. keep telling yourself that there's hope and you'll find it.
    *hugs tightly*
    -xXx-

  • 19 years ago

    by GoodMorning

    Wow, this made me so sad =(....i'm sorry to hear all of this Manda, i've been a terrible friend...i haven't been there for you like i should have been....and you're going through all of this, losing 13 friends, that has to be tough....this letter gave me the chills...i know you can make it...just hang in there...i'm doing tons better....i know what you're going through is a lot worse....but you've made it this far, you can make it that much farther....just stay positive...i am here....if you see me on AIM and need to talk, TALK TO ME! lol....and if i'm not, PM me....don't be afraid to come to me when you need something...i'm sorry for not being here all that much....*GIANT bear hug* i love you =)

    -brittnay-