Cutting hurts

Is this how its meant to be,
Is this how my life is meant to turn out?
I look at my arms, my legs, my whole body,
I see the scars from all my pain
How I did it I will never no
How I even attempted to take my life.
I only had a few reasons to live but every reason to die.

She has been by my side,
Talked me out of things and put in f**ked up situations,
But no matter what I no she will be there.
My boys grow up is what I long to see,
I thank them for helping save me.
I thought he would be there by my side,
But things change.

I try hard now to stop what feels so right,
To stop so I can get back the love of my life,
The tears that roll down my cheeks I never thought I’d cry,
The tears I never thought would be cried over you.

It hurts not having you,
Not knowing that you are mine,
Just if I never told you, at least I never lied.