Unrequited love (my vile disease)

Filled with rage
and a sadness that forever lives,
and will not let go
all i want is love,
yet i wretch when i see it
for it is something i will never have.

unrequited love
forever mine,
and makes me want to die

depression never goes away.
forever lingers.
will i ever feel the love i need to stay alive?
eternal sadness is what i cry.

a disease.
an ugly and vile disease.
i am nothing but a maggot that is thrown out in the trash.
love is not meant for me.
never was.

i see love all around
and it feels like a bullet to the head
maybe love is not for me.
maybe i am meant to take the bullet.
what is the point of love if i will never feel it?

a masque to cover my tears,
to hide all the sadness and rage
depression helps the smiles fade away
unrequited love leaves my heart permanently scarred
everything makes me sad
the painful past, the agonizing present, and the knife that awaits my heart in the future

this won't last
it can't last
let me go
set me free

i scream
but no one listens
they are too busy "being in love"
and this makes me sick
for this is a feeling that i will never know

what is the point of love if i will never feel it?
left with a choice...
look for the love i will never find-
or just stand there,
and receive the bullet that is meant to penetrate my skull anyways.

unrequited.am.i.