Nothing to say
Does it matter anyway?
You wouldn't listen,
I know you won't,
You haven't listened yet.
How long has been?
How many signs?
And all the endless clues and hints dropped
Into a casual conversation.
But still you don't listen,
And now I'm not bothering,
I doubt you hear me anyways,
No matter what I say,
Now we're at the place where we have set dialogue,
Everything is mandatory,
And I answer back in a set response,
And your questions are preplanned
With years behind you to practice your lines,
Like you're an actor in a play,
It all goes by so fast,
It's all spinning now,
And still you don't listen,
Caught up with your script book,
Screaming at the sky that this is not in the lines,
Was not preplanned,
Was not organized,
Undo, rewrite, cut!
And action,
Thank god we're back to the lines,
Depressing in their likeness,
All the same,
The lines, the days, the weeks, the months,
My life,
It all blends together until we forget what day it is,
What we are enjoying,
Our interests,
Our similarities,
Why we are even together.......
And then I scream at the sky.
No, slow down! This isn't how it goes!
It goes slower; we have to really live,
All so fast, spinning by,
Like we are caught in some never ending,
Never forgiving, merciless,
Tornado.
And we're caught together,
A punishment I could have never guessed,
And it's all going so fast again,
Just as we think the wind are slowing,
The likeness disappearing.
And then the winds do slow,
And we're back in our house,
That's too big, too cold,
And so not our's.
And it's like it never happened,
A bad nightmare,
Pinch me, I must have been dreaming,
This terror is not mine,
The horror so unreal it can only happen when I'm asleep,
And dreaming.
And that's what you say to yourself,
After this nightmare we call life is over,
But it's different.
You think you woke up,
To this calm, quiet, cold house,
But it's warmer.
Flames jump and lick at your feet,
Red and orange,
You know you're burning,
Your mind tells you so,
But your eyes tell you that your skin is still there,
And you're only feeling the burning,
It must be all in your mind.
And you feel the pain,
You feel the heat,
The pressure of all your lies and all your guilt,
You thought it was gone,
But now it's back,
With a vengeance,
Angry it seems,
For you casting it away.
And it presses on your shoulders heavily,
Just as burning
As the pain you feel from the eternal flame.
And as you look around,
You see no one else,
But you can feel the pain,
What is the old saying?
O yes, your dreams can never hurt you.
And you just know that this is not a dream,
If you cut yourself you would bleed like never before,
If you pinched yourself you would feel the sting.
You're all alone,
You look around once again,
No one is joining you in your misery.
You look around for me,
And I'm not there.
No, because you put me through hell,
And somehow I came back.
My life was hell,
Pain and guilt sitting heavily on my shoulders,
And in my dreams I felt the flames lick my feet,
Like the flames now do to you,
And it seemed not like a dream
