Daddy...

I know....another boohoo poem, but hey, this is what I feel. Daughter of a herion addict...Sometimes I felt like I was screaming for anyone to pay attention, when all I really wanted was for him to notice me...

Everyones got a daddy
except for me
no one calls me their baby
no one seems to love me
i don't have that one
who places nothing above,
who calls me princess,
or keeps the boys away
who teaches me to drive,
preaches to me about
sex and drugs, and
every day gives me hugs,
teaches me to fix my new car,
one who when i pick up the
phone...is never to far

daddy where are you?
where did you go?
you left me such a long time ago
and a part of me left with you
how i am supposed to grow?
how do i know which way to go?
i feel so lonely sometimes
and the tears seem to flow
down my cheeks and they're for you...
i don't feel anymore daddy
only an empty kind of love
what did i do?

daddy why didn't you help me when i fell?
i had to learn everything for myself
where were you when i was screaming?
i couldn't find you...
daddy why didn't you help me
when i was drowning?
everything got to deep...i couldn't breathe
no hand was there to help me up
everyone gave up on me....
and i waited for you daddy
but you never came to save me
don't you love your baby?

i try not to think about it anymore
i just make a hard face
to show the world my hate
keep everyone away...
i must be bitter
so no one looks my way
i push them all away
I'm scared if they get to close they'll see... nothing
theres nothing left inside of me...
just empty space where my hero used to be...
whats wrong with me?
why don't you love me daddy?
what did i do?
why was i never good enough for you?

and daddy you'll never see my prom dress
you'll never see me walk across the stage
you'll never know what i could be
daddy why don't you miss me?

daddy you'll never change
but thats okay
daddy i still love you
wonder what your doing everyday
but i have to leave you behind daddy
cause I've realized you did the same
I'm not telling you to pass blame
and I've realized daddy even if i don't know
where I'm from
i know where I'm going....
and daddy thank you for showing me