I am sure that you could recite this poem well becase a pause at the right place can even the flow. ytou write the way I used to write until I shared my work with a great poet. she taght me to count the sylables in the lines you can always and or subtract words without changing the meaning of the poem example
Keep your hand upon the gun... 7 sylables
You're the only one 5 sylables
Keep your hand upon the gun 7
because you're the only one 7
don't get me wrong thier are a lot of great poets and song writers that don't count sylables
I like the over al feel of trhe poem
This line provoked tghe most deep thought

' I'll rest in peace because you are dead.'

Sorry about the type o's in my comment

Another great poem, but kinda sad.
~~Sweetie

Wow.. this is really great! Keep it up!

Tiffany.xox.

I really liked this poem sad but very well written... you can feel the pain and confusion... yes I agree that sylables should be counted in poems, but I don't agree that it should be always... when they are not it gives off that raw feeling... lets you know this came straight from the heart... not written over and over again

Wow, this is fantastic! 5/5

I have to agree with other people...It's a little choppy...but it is a good poem...5/5

I thought the flow in this was actually pretty good, it is very heart-felt, and some of your lines fit in very nicely, eg 'suicide is not a word of play' I thought that was quite an original description.

Good work. I really liked this poem. I thought you did a god job expressing your feelings on suicide and how it's a stupid idea.

Great poem, well written, its also got some quite original concepts and descriptions within it.

well done

Excellent work! luv it....very original....i loved this poem overal...so 5/5
~*Who Cares?*~

I loved the way you wrote this poem. it seems different...it has a really nice flow to it like you really expressed what you were feeling. great job!

This is sort of sad to me. I have nothing else really to say. It says it all for itself to me.