Where is this life going?

Someone asked me a question today
They asked how am i still OK...

How did i get through all of my hell?
It's a story that i can't really tell

Didn't i take time to deal with it?
No i didn't face it one damn bit

I took the easy way and hurt myself instead
Pain was the only thing going through my head

And now that i look at it, i never really took the time
To sit down and realize my crying

My close friend...for most of the time, my life
The one who told me that my solution is the knife

The one who gave me my first black and blue
The one who i thought i knew

The one who knew me from the start
The one who tore my heart apart

The one who forced me to do so much
The one who now i fear of his touch...

My weekends and summer were wrongly spent
Doing things i never knew what they meant

Pills i had no clue what they were
Most of the memories are now in a blur

Doing drugs most of the time
Staying out late to commit a crime?

What the hell was going through my head?
A few of those times i should have been dead...

And now i turn to see your face
And i forgot...you already left this place

Randy? Davy? Kulpy? Troy?
I hear no answer...oh boy...

The ones who grew up with me
Have left me quickly

Justin, Matt, Randall, Frank?
More friends that are gone...who am i left to thank...

Family...can you help me out?
They don't even know what I'm sad about...

They don't care, but why?
What happened that made me pass this by?

I lost so much, where did it all go?
Will it come back? does ANYBODY know?

The tears are falling off my face
The memories are coming back in this place

The scars are showing more than before
My wrists are showing my razor kisses a lot more

So where is this life going?
It changed so much without me even knowing...