If only

My favorite colors are black and blue
That's the color of my heart too

I want my life back
I don't care if it's in white and black

I want to be happy and FINALLY feel it
I want at least a little bit

I forget what it's like to honestly smile
I want to have true happiness for a little while

Why can't we go back a few more years
Before the pain, before the tears

To where my family let me in
We'll erase this now and have a new begin

Bring me back to the first year
When i was with Tyler, let's get through this fear

Let me change the past to good
Let's make this better than it should

Take me back to the days
Where having self-esteem was a permanent phase

Let's go to where staying up till 12 was rebellious
Let's go back to the fairy-tales that people would tell us

Maybe a change would be better
Maybe i wouldn't have to face this stormy weather

Maybe I'll have a family that would care
And happy times and laughs we all would share

Maybe I'll have a boyfriend, one that cares about me
One that won't hurt me physically

Maybe my scars won't be on me then
Maybe then i won't have to pretend

Maybe i would have a mother figure in my life
Maybe i wouldn't have touched ONE knife

Maybe i would know how to deal with pain
Maybe i wouldn't be going so insane

Maybe i would smile and laugh all the time
Maybe i wouldn't be by myself crying

If only i could go back to the past
If only i could change it to be good and last

Maybe i wouldn't miss Jen so much as i do
Maybe i wouldn't even of had to talk to you...

So much could be different, i can be on a different track
If only i could just go back

Maybe i wouldn't be so lonely
If i could go back...if only