Not the girl i pity

I realized today
your not who i thought you were
you didn't treat her with respect
the one who was there for me
when i needed her the most
the girl i would give my life for
my best friend

and you hit her back
not just a playful tap
you hit her

i just don't understand
it makes me wonder
how would you be with me
what if i made you mad?

that scares me
cause i care about you
and i don't want to lose you
and i thought you felt the same
but if you can do that
with such and easy air
I'm scared

god please don't let him show this side again
i always told myself
i would never let myself be in an abusive relationship
physical or verbal
but even after that
i don't want to lose you
please don't make me be the girl i pity
please show me you can be different
show me your not a monster
just waiting to be tipped over the edge