Spiritual Friends

*Collaboration, Katie started and Nada wrote every other stanza thereafter*

I sit up crying night after night
Wondering if I should give up this fight
Dwelling on things of the past
All the friendships that didn't last
Looking down at my scar covered arm
Remembering the release I'd get from my harm
Should I continue on with today's fight
Or for today, should I give in to my knife

Beloved friend,
I hear your pain,
Let me take it away,
This friendship is one that'll last.
Life can be tough,
We fall down,
But we always manage to stay strong

I've held onto life for so long
Tried my hardest everyday to stay strong
I've tried to go on without that blade
But times like these, I want my pain to fade
Perhaps I should turn to those pills again
They released my pain fast
I think I even had a few smiles
They gave me an incredible high; for a while

Let these pills not find a way,
To that heart of gold,
Let the knife find no way,
To you, my angel from above,
Let me take away the fear,
Wipe away the tears,
Let me be there,
Can't you see how much I love you

I've had so many people promise me forever
But when I needed them were they there? No.. Not ever
So many people have said "I love you"
But did they mean it? No.. Their words weren't true
I'm like a flower that's wilting; near dead
Suicidal thoughts constantly flowing through my head
I just want all the pain to go away
To be happy again, just even for one day

I'm here,
I'm not them,
I'm never going to leave you,
Even if I'm not there physically,
I'm beside you in spirit,
Leave your pain behind,
Come with me,
I'll make you forget your pain,
I'll wipe away your tear,
And your fear, with me, no longer exist.

The pain, the cuts, the burns, the hurt
The feeling of being lower than the dirt
I just want someone to take it away
For everyone to be OK one day
If some one would just try to understand
Maybe even take my hand...
I wouldn't want so bad, to be gone
I'd have the strength to carry on

Let me take you hand,
Let me take the pain away,
The cuts, burns, pills and all that,
In the past,
No longer exist,
Start a new page,
You and me,
No more pain,
No more fear,
Just love and friendship,
Together is where we truly belong

Staring down at my arm, wishing those scars gone
I know that from now on, I must carry on
without the pills, the knife, and the burns
I made a mistake, and from it, I will learn
To look on the positive side of things
And to look at the good that people bring
I'll look to the future, not into my past
And with the love I've found, my life will last

Beloved friend,
Those scars will go,
And all will be well,
Everyone makes mistakes,
Even the best of us,
Have some flaws,
So tears in my eyes,
I take your hand,
Lets start a new page,
A page with no hurt

Hand in hand; We will carry on
Together we'll make it; We will be strong
Flip the page in our book of life
A new chapter, with no scarring knife
This won't be the end; Not tonight
It's a new beginning; A whole new fight
We'll look back one more time, and wave goodbye
To the hurt, the pain, and all the lost cries

November 12, 2005

©Katie M.
©Nada