I really like it, its so sad though...anyway good job!-xxx-

This poem is very goood. it was so clear and expressive. the concept is really good too

I like it I would give it a 5/5 the rhyming was good along with the flow, please rate anyone of my poems

I liked it but you could make it better by ending it, how the girl ends up or what not..
Its a good poem but It -could- be better well done anyways!

Ooooo I love it! I can totally relate to it. The only Critiquing I have is instead of this

On the tear stained paper
was a story no one would read,
a story so depressing
a story no one believed

Try using the commas to create a beat and all that fun stuff!

On the tear stained paper,
Was a story no one would read,
A story so depressing,
A story no one believed.

And of course it makes it look prettier lol gives ur poem a sense of Rhythm which makes the reader get into it more, Also it can make some words stand out more, so yes commas and periods r very useful. I know I say use more Commas and Periods to like everyone but I really think it makes them poem... just that much nicer. Anyways good job!

I think this is a fantastic poem it flows really well and like you a tend to wrie when i have had a bad day but that really gives the poem alot of emotion and i can really see that here well done xxALLYxx