Comments : Heart Break Mascara

  • 18 years ago

    by Truest Lies

    Um, strange style.
    I don't think it sounded that good. It lacked beauty and understanding, and it wasn't like anything inspiring...what caused its inspiration.
    I'm quite awed by your vocabulary, though. That contributed to the poem, but I always think that poetry should have a story behind it, something that it relates to.
    Okay, that's about it.

    Good Writing!
    beth

  • 18 years ago

    by Little Dot

    I liked this poem. It has a nice flow to it. I also like the way you decided to word it. Keep up the good work.
    --Sarah--

  • 18 years ago

    by Goth

    Very interesting style.... I kinda got the feeling the stories not over?

  • 18 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    I love the abstract feel this poem has. I really liked the
    "Blank.
    Blank.
    Russian Roulette.
    Blank."
    This is a simple yet complex poem, in any case it is very well written. The only criticism I have is some lines are capitalized and some aren't, I'm trying to see the purpose of this but I can’t find it. It doesn't fit in with punctuation, so I was thinking maybe these two small case lines were a mistake. Great write, keep it up.

  • 18 years ago

    by Jessica

    Very Nice work.....I really like ur style. Its different and I love different!!! keep it up!!!
    ~Jessica

  • 18 years ago

    by Rusted x Heart

    I absolutely LOVED it. I can see why people might dislike it, merely because of its abstract nature, but its something that Im starting to appreciate (as much as I might hate cummings!). The way your punctuation is set out is perfect and helps follow along with just HOW to read it and definitely makes the flow clear. Your vocabulary is ASTONISHING, it really is- beautiful choice of words. I cant say anything else, cause I simply loved it. Especially the last stanza and isolated line.