I shouldn't

by sirius   Nov 15, 2005


I shouldn't have let it happen,
shouldn't have left him alone,
It's all my fault, i know that,
you blame me, that you've shown,
what could i have done?
Even if I'd been there,
I could not have helped,
but you think that i did not care,
I was only 14,
what could i have done?
what ever i did,
death would have won,
I admit i made a mistake,
from which i will never be free,
but will i be judged forever?
will his death forever hang over me?

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Bridgette

    This is really strong & emotional but once again I think that you should maybe add some more details to it. The poem in itself is very strong...Great job on it! 5/5**

  • 18 years ago

    by Just Wishes

    Whose deah? shed some light on ure words,that wut the poem need . otherwise, it's good

    best of luck

  • 18 years ago

    by just a poet

    U tell a stpry using rhym and quistions yet u make it powerful. i dont really like your style i dont thikn u put enough feeling into your poems but i have to admit its pretty good. like the lines
    "but will i be judged forever?
    will his death forever hang over me?"

    i think its the bit with feeling

  • 18 years ago

    by Dreams

    I like the way you tell the story with questions. Sometimes too many questions made the poem's flow seem awkward, but I think this is fine. This is definitely very different from your first poem. But good job in this as well. The feelings you portrayed were felt, truly felt. But I feel that maybe add a few more lines to clearer state what had really happened. Just my 2 cents. =) Nonetheless, nice write!

  • 19 years ago

    by aaron c s

    That was really strong and had a really nice flow to it. i like this part

    "but will i be judged forever?
    will his death forever hang over me?"

    it was pretty powerful

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