You didn’t think I would, but I remember;
I remember at a young age that daddy was not around. He’d come by every now and then, give a bit of attention then he was gone.
You didn’t think I would, but I remember;
The first day I went to Head Start. You said you cried and waved at the bus as I started to leave. I just remember being excited and wondering what was in store for me.
You didn’t think I would, but I remember;
The day my babysitter’s boyfriend thought it was okay to pin me to a wall and touch my private parts. I did block a lot out, but I can remember how it starts.
You didn’t think I would, but I remember;
How much you used to drink. I knew almost every hiding place that you had for your bottles of vodka. I can’t count how many times I dumped them out and refilled them with water.
You didn’t think I would, but I remember;
The day my aunt was going through withdrawals. The heroine had her body in so much pain so you pawned our jewelry and helped the drug dealer gain.
You didn’t think I would, but I remember;
The nights that I heard you moan. I was so fascinated by the pleasure you received so I decided to do some experiments of my own.
You didn’t think I would, but I remember;
The day when you told me that you had HIV. Surprisingly I had a blank reaction. All I could think about was, “if you die what will happen to me?â€
You didn’t think I would, but I remember;
When I became a mother and had to live on my own. That’s when I realized that I couldn’t get mad at the life you chose to live because you’re grown.
You didn’t think I would, but I remember;
The weekend we spent together before I left Massachusetts. I was confident in knowing that even with me leaving the bond was stronger between us.
I know you don’t think I can, but I will always remember;
The days when you said I love you, those concerts and plays you came to, the number of times you heard me whine, my graduation that you attended on time, those every day check-in calls that got me through. I want you to know that even with the bad times; most importantly I’ll never forget that there is no me without you. I love you mommy.
