I remember the days of long ago,
A small boy of only eight years
Begging for the candy at the store
Me telling him no
But that when he is older
He can buy as much as he wants
Yet that time will never come.
He is gone forever
Lost to the gods.
I see the pain in the eyes of his friends
Who returned with the tidings.
It was a knife in my side to hear the words
That my baby will never be seen again
Breathing the same air, living life
As we do.
I am crushed
With the avalanche of grief
That comes with death.
It has a tight hold on me
And I have no choice but to move on
And accept the destiny I am given.
The fate that I have chosen
And the fate that chose him.
I must live with my fear
Of loosing another
Or loosing myself
To the dark regions of depression.
I must look up and out
Into the world of the living
Not go searching for my son
No matter how much
I want to see him again.
Live tall and forget what doesn't matter
But he DOES matter,
More than anyone can say
More that I want to admit.
I move on in a fog, knowing
It will clear only when I leave the earth.
