I have let everyone down

I broke my pact tonight
I let my blood run free
I could not remember what control was
but now i no this is me

I had to find a knife
I had to make it sharp
The heavens turned their back on me
The angels strumming their sad harp

As the tears were unlocked from behind a gate
Dear god is this really my fate?
i do not think i can last that long
I am fading away whilst singing my sad song

i could not stop myself
i feel so sad and alone
but i haven't told anyone else
what would you have done if you had known?

i hate myself so god damn much
i deserve to feel the pain
in my early grave i shall lay
in the dirt and mud and rain

i sliced it into my skin
one slice after the first
no one to turn to, no one understands
its like being in a drought with thirst

my head was banging
i felt so weak
after all this time
the blade was what i seek

the sharp of the knife
the glint of the blade
the blood running down
the problems i have made

so go on say u don't care
because i know that it probably will be true
i was stupid to think anyone would
after all Ive been told deep down i really knew

all alone
so much pain
all alone
sitting in the rain