by Truest Lies Nov 17, 2005
category :
Life, society /
inspirational
Cold drops splash on my nose, |
by N J Thornton
Excellent write! The descriptions and the images in this poem were fantastic. The flow was consistent through out and I could really picture your words. This poem told itself and that is one of the most important things about a good poem. Now because I think this is such a good poem it's important I give you the best advise as possible. The final two lines don't keep up the high standards of the rest of the poem. Maybe re wording them would help. Just taking the "no more" from the first line and the "ever" form the second will make a lot of difference. Also, this is totally up to you but the first line of the second stanza is much longer than everything else so maybe to keep in tone with the rest of the poem that could be split into two lines. Very well written, keep it up! |
by Megadrive
That was really good! I love the topic you chose it was great! |
by Mona
Wow. You are a very talented writer. Amazing. Very very very good. Also thanks for you comment, it means a lot to me. |
Absolutly amazing |
by Dreams
Great display of words here. Your descriptions are always amazing. I can picture the whole scene playing like a film before me. It's a smooth transition from relating health to life. Interesting poem. I like this very much. Thanks for sharing. =) |