Excellent poem. Very emotional. There is a lot of pain and I can feel it. I especially like this part:

How could i be so stupid
Running back for more
When i know deep down
I should be running for the door

Very good. Excellent.

Good poem, you have a good sense of rhythm and rhyme. I would like you to explore your wording a bit more because I think you have a great potential as a poet to become great. Use your words more wisely, experiment more and see what depths of your body, soul and mind you can reach in your language and style.