Nice poem

I must say that this is one of the best love poems that I have ever read. You are brilliant and I hope that you didn't think that I would down-rate you because of the comments that you left me, because that is not my style hun. You are an excellent poet so you deserve excellent rates 5/5
Welcome to my favorites

Love
Letty

This poem makes me smile! I love it! I'm certainly adding you to my favorites :) i liked the last stanza the best!!
Perfect
5/5

Oh i like this poem most. I love the twist at the end, i definately wasn't expecting it. I think the story behind it all was well thought out and you wrote it perfectly. Another great job. 5/5 I don't know how you ended up with a rating of 3.6 for this so far, but obviously, some people are really jealous of how well you write.

Dear Mybusybedroom,

Incidentally this is teh poem that won me a silver coin in a contest hosted at my company, but anyway that may be gross as there were only 38 entries. And yes, I agree this is not a poem that can be compares with professioanl writers and if you feel it ahs too much rhyme then I must disagree as I am a ardent fan of rhyming. But yes, everyone is free to her opinions and thanks for your comments. And yes, perharps Life will teach me much bolder lessons in days to come that will add emotioanl depth to my thinking and allow me to deviate from processes so that my writing can also differ or maybe I will always write in a style taht is neither free verse nor can be called traditional poetry.

Thanks for your comments.

I'm really sorry but I didn't really like this poem. Again, I could admire the ambitious rhyming, but I didn't feel particularly moved, I wasn't sure to what extent this was real to you, and I have always thought that even if a poem is not a true experience that it should read as if it were. But as I always say, each poem is personal to the poet, so my comments are from my reading and I'll never be able to understand it as you do.
much love x
ps. thanks for your comments, I'm gutted I didn't tell you which ones to do now, as you chose two that I'm less proud of...ah well, such is life!

It was good, but this time it felt like the words were forced, the ryhme was forced. poems don't always have to rhyme, and usually mine don't, just because it doesn't sound so forced. they don't flow quite as nice, sometimes you have to read them a second time, but it's better than forcing the rhyme...

i liked this one better than the other though, but i didn't understand the last line. it sorta threw me after the poem. was he a player? or was he in love with her... that was what i was confused on.

overall, just try not to force the rhyme too much... i liked the content on this one, it just needs a little tweaking... that's just my opinion... nice job and i'll look forward to reading some others

To be honest, the flow was way off through the entire poem. I would suggest reading it out loud and changing it that way rather than basing it on syllables (sp?). I noticed it in one line in particular, in the second stanza : "as tears drop onto her breasts from her face". The sinister twist you have at the end took me by surprise and i liked it. Also, the rhyming seems forced in some places, but i'm sure you'd be able to fix that. If you must, you could even change the rhyme scheme so you wouldn't need to make every line rhyme in each stanza. Keep up the hard work!

xxEvilAngelxx