I thought this was really good...very sad but very good. I liked the rhyming it seemed to flow well...There is one line that didnt flow well with the others and that was Watching her blood drain
needs another word or something to go with the flow more but i like what it says so I dont know if I would change it lol good job!

Good peice, good expression and strong content. the flow is pretty smooth thoughout with only small rough areas which quickly recover