Destroyed Myself

I destroyed myself a thousand times for you
And all you did was break my heart
Smashed it into little pieces
And watched it bleed away

You broke my heart over and over
But you always had your excuses
“It would be best this way”
“I just want you to be happy”
I should’ve known it was all lies

I realize that I broke your heart too
But you took it so much worse
Cut off all contact for months
Until you decided to say goodbye
To tell me you were moving away

We became close again
And we both realized our mistakes
We realized we still loved each other
But we wouldn’t try anything else
The distance was too great

Then a day came when you didn’t call
Followed by another and another
And soon a week went by without a word
And then months started passing
With no form of contact what so ever

I moved on from you
I still loved you
But I didn’t believe you loved me
So I found somebody else
To make it hurt a little less

I tried to act like I was fine
I tried to act like I’d forgotten
But every time I’d kiss his lips
I couldn’t help but wish for you
But I still moved on

Then you were back once more
And we talked like no time had passed
And it made me realize
I had never really moved on
I was still all yours

We were both too naive though
We thought it would be exactly the same
Talking once more
And missing each other
But the conversations soon turned sour
And we went back to our fights

I understand what I did wrong
I shouldn’t have yelled about your smoking
I should’ve let it just pass by
But I couldn’t help but voice my opinion
I didn’t mean to make you so mad

Once again you’re ignoring my apologies
Saying sorry over and over
I now know what I did was wrong
But what you’re doing is worse
You’re cutting me out once again

I destroyed myself a thousand times
I rebuilt myself a thousand more
I wanted to be your only one
I wanted to be your everything
But all I got was cold silence

Go ahead and cut me out
Let months go by without a word
But I know you too well
You’ll call eventually
You always do
But this time it won’t be the same
This time you’ll be the one apologizing