by aaron 1 remo Nov 19, 2005
category :
Miscellaneous /
Misc. poems
Red venomous eyes shine. |
by N J Thornton
I really liked this. This is a very original subject and I liked the comparisons you used. The flow and syllable count was contestant, and I found it was interesting you chose the number six... It is quite short so I would normally suggest adding to it, but this works perfectly as it is. The only criticism is the third line is the only line that doesn't start with a capital letter... So I think it would be good to alter this. Well done, this write impressed me. |
by aaron 1 remo
Notice how there are 6 lines and 6 sylables in each line and 24 (a multiple of 6) words |
WHOA....that was intense man..those few words ae embedded in my soul! that was awesome...you are one of my favs to read lol. latas chill..LISSA xox |