To be loved

I feel it burning up inside
my screams of pain I can't disguise

swelling within my soul so dark
this agony I feel, because of your black heart

bleeding out this anguish and loathing
I hate myself, so Many I am fooling

this isn't however any sad poem
this story of my discontentment
and why I'm so alone

left home all day to raise myself
love is something I have never felt

my father who I never met
denied me even at his dying breath

so feeling lost I turned to drugs
to forget about the hole I had dug

drinking helped too
but in the morning I had to face the truth

the opaqueness followed my every step
for many nights at a time, I never slept

putting nails in a coffin that would soon be mine
I turned to Jesus, because with him I felt alive

but that only helped for so long
I still have no courage to even go on

resentment and anger
pain and blood
these things are killing me
all I ever wanted was to be loved