Why

Well here I am,
Thinking of all the reasons why I'm still here.
Why am I still sitting here?
Why am I still trying to be human?
Why am I still trying to be social?
Why am I letting these tears fall?
Why am I living this lie?
Why am I living up to what people say about me?
Why am I trying to understand?
Why am I still here alone?
Why am I smiling even though I know it's a lie?
Why am I letting everyone turn me into what I'm not?
Why am I acting like the people I hate?
Why am I normal even though inside I'm not?
Why am I going out to make people love me when I know noone will?
Why am I trying to be understood when noone will?
Why am I trying to get out of here even though I know I can't?
Why am I trying to be myself when myself is someone noone understands?
Why am I still trying to understand and be understood?