ALL THAT MATTERS AT THIS MOMENT

So
many years gone by, so quickly, so many changes,
a mid-life crisis, a broken relationship, a heart attack,
starting over yet again, trying to get back on my feet,
and then finding each other again after so long,
with everything different, yet somewhat the same,
and I should be picking up the shattered pieces
from my most recent self-destruction
and trying to put them all back together,
to find myself once more.

And,
now I'm
in love and in limbo,
I should be thinking of the future,
and of how you really feel,
and if there ever really will be
a chance for us as I've always believed
with such unwavering faith,
I should be thinking if
love really is all that matters.

And,
I should be trying
to live my life in that
existence that society seems to dictate,
joining the responsible, mundane media
brain-washed masses of sheep,
I should be conquering my demons
and compromising my dreams,
and I should be trying to figure out
if everything I've believed
all my life
is wrong.

But,
the sun is shining golden and
there is a pleasant autumn breeze
carrying the soft sound of birdsong
rustling through leaves that are changing colour,
and I sit and lean back against an old tree
here at that spot in the park where we always met,
the clouds are those perfect white wispy puffs
against an endless azure sky,
like you only see in paintings or calendars.

And,
now with my life
at total ground zero,
I am strangely calm and content,
because I now know
what really matters in life.
And
despite everything, I am happy
to be here and waiting for you,
and all that matters at this moment,
is hoping you will appear and come over to me
as I rise to hold you in my arms,
and kiss you so deeply, so passionately,
before this world
is gone forever.

May-September 2005/November 20, 2005