Suicide

I lost my best friend.
I lost the love of my life.
They were all that were keeping me here.
I seem to have nothing left.
Nothing that anymore sparks my interest.
What do I do now?
Who do I turn to?

Things happen day in and day out.
Things that should have a result in some kind of emotion.
Happy, glad, sad.
Gloomy, frustrated, lonesome.
I lost it all.
I don't even know if I'm alive or dead.
I try to seek this answer.
But how I do it,
You just yell.

I cause pain and cut.
Just to feel.
To know that I'm alive,
And not dead.
I cut to have control.
Control over the only thing that I can.
Myself and how I feel,
That's all I feel.
The joy of the sharp object going through,
Through my skin.
That's what I have left.

Maybe I should just end it.
End it now and seek justice.
End it with a gun.
Maybe to the head.
Or jump off a bridge.
And then get hit by a car.

Would it really even matter to you?
Sure it's selfish.
Sure it's wrong.
But maybe then people will see.
See what its like to be me.
To loose something so dear.
That is, if I'm dear to you.
What can I do?

There's nothing left.
Just an empty space in what's left of my heart.
I will,
I'll do it now.
Say my goodbyes,
Though it's been a nice ride.
And before I know it,
I've committed suicide.