Happy birthday

It's your birthday today
and I cannot find a cause for celebration
I'm torn between two worlds
unknowing if the second really exists
I cannot hear, feel, or see you
and I'm lonely today
I need you here
to help me through this foggy maze
I've been window shopping
for love, direction, and you
but my demons and angels
leave me bitter and confused
Every instinct has been proven wrong
and I'm all alone
with a hungry heart
that I can no longer trust to see
what is really real or simply make believe
I'm in love with the idea
of knowing what my heart truly wants
because yearning, desire, and lust
define my every move, my every breath
simple emotions I can no longer trust
Their ferocious behavior
has lead me to the darkest alleys
searching for proper company
but finding nothing more
than cracks in the sidewalks
and I keep falling into every person I meet
So please take me to your party
and drink this wine with me
we'll toast to silently unknowing
if these two worlds will ever meet