Untitled 7©

I look at your wonderful face
I can see a treasure lost
I can see my discipline raising
dwelling on death and cost

I don't see why i continue
to let you get to me
to scream to the middle of the night
I learn to pray on bended knee

You terrorize my dreadful nights
when the thoughts began to cast
I swear to go I'll get better
If you weren't part of my past

I want your body held close
and know your presence is near
feel your body on top of mine
but all that's left is this bottle of beer

A bottle of emptiness but still very full
I drink away all my pain
everything of my past
is pushing my insane

Keeping the secrets dark
never telling a soul
If I open my lips
I'll tell of all the pain I know

about how you weren't there
when you saw all the gashes
and the bits of my past
and no traces of happiness

you'll say I'll get better
if I just let it all go
I'll have to let down my guard
and let it all go to hell

I'll have to tell you
how I can't sleep
how I spend my days
alone to weep

How I don't dare to wake up
and face this new day
all this pain and anger
how it never goes away

all the depression gets deeper
and the cuts never fade
how i want to hear your voice
and things to be the same

but it doesn't go back
and it just gets worse
the pain is unbearable
I could feel my body burst

Why can't you help me
help me build my escape
free me of my cuff of guilt
tear me of my mistakes

I can feel something break
something deep within
somehow I know I won't make it
filled with breaking sin

I can feel my heart stop
and I start to feel the burn
nothing is going right
life is taking its turn

I think it's over
and things are going to rest
once i take my razor
and take it to the test