My Bulimic Body

Looking in the mirror
do my eyes deceive me?
rolls after rolls, who would
want to be me?

Tracing all my fat
laughing at my pain
i do not want to stay here
theres no more i can gain

Every time i see food
i scream and cry inside
i hate this person Ive become
the one who has no pride

Mom making me eat,
throwing it up, i make
myself weak

Theres only so much you
can take, until inside you break
don't know why I'm here
but i know it was a mistake

Wish somebody loved me
wish somebody cared
i am so upset and lonely
there was only so much i
could bare

people tell me I'm skinny
and that i need some help
and for all the people who
tell me that just go f##*
yourself

I'm not talking to the ones i
love, just the ones who lie
to me. All the people who mocked
and didn't have pride in me

All that Ive become
is not my fault at all
its everyone's who didn't
care and just sat and watch me
fall

I'm going to kill myself
if anyone finds out
like my mom, grandma
or sister they'll just sit
and lecture about

Put me I'm some hospital
like i was last year
with a feeding tube in my arm
stupid doctors not seeing my
tears

Lay there for 6 weeks
until i gain some weight
go home and cry
(Don't show me another plate)

spaghetti, hamburger, chicken
all add to my fat, I don't care
what you say because that is
a fact

people say I'm thick and have
a big butt to, why do they lie to
me? They don't know what Ive
been through.