Im sorry im not the daughter you wanted

You tell me I'm beautiful, the days you're not drunk..
but as soon as i hear the refrigerator door, i know, the next few hours, will be he!!, I'm so very sorry i am not perfect, you tell me you love me...but do i really believe?....you tell me i am fat, to tall, wasteful, and not perfect, only when you are drunk, how dare you turn my life into a living he!!, i used to love, you make me do stuff, i never wanted to do, i try to hide the pain, not take it out on other people, but i just can't seem to stop, will you once, not open the fridge door, grab out the Bud Light and crack it open and gulp it down, and not let it happen again and again and again, you are the nicest father anybody could ask for sober, but drunk i just wish you would leave me alone, and you wonder why i am with my mother 6 days a week, i never want to be here, you make me clean, you make me take care of the animals, cook, grab you're beers, i am sorry dad, i am not your slave, i will never be, i am going to stand up to you, so please, just leave me be...

**this is to my dad, this is what i go through every day, he calls me to tell me depressing stuff, daily, why cant he just be a true father for once?**