Well it is short but i think it has alot of feeling to it.. i would take this and make it longer.. tis good but it needs more,, but tis good...and for your advice on good poem writting try using stats like a best like when u wrote songs.. like count ur sylabols.. itll work much better... please vot on my poems if u have time.. and get back to me.. write comment for em if u would like.. good job keep it UP!

Good start, try to make it longer and in poetry format. Keep it up

Short sweet and to the point i like it but make it a lil longer well later