Wow i love this, i like the last line, a powerful way to end. . .

This totally outstrips mine

Love Laura
XxX

That's such a great way to depict the sun I like it a lot, i did something like that once but it wasn't a poem, but its oddly similar.

'Mountains pierced the top of the world and grazed the sky; Lighting cut through the clouds and clattered the world in a realm of deep purple and blue, which echoed rays of the last seen screams of a dying sun. If only it knew it would rise tomorrow.'

I love the rhythm of this poem. It feels like I'm reading a nursery rhyme. Very interesting descriptions. Awesome piece of work. Thanks for sharing. =)

This is like 'Luna' isn't it? I like it a lot. You could combine the two poems together to make two halves of one poem but still keep them separate. Like that Little Boy Lost/Little Boy Found combination we had in our anthologies.

Wow, that's so pretty. I must say, you really know how to manipulate the english language to depict nature. Great job!

Ok, so am I the only person who felt compelled to read this twice? I seemed to read it a different way both times, and yes, that's a positive comment.. lol.. I found this to be really creative, and yet I'm not sure how it makes me feel.. I love stuff like that, that prey on your mind.. Really expressive, and thought-provoking. Another 5/5. Well done. xx