Twisted Feelings

I wasn't sure if I felt more
disappointed or relieved.
Guinevere really had him.

So I shouldn't want him. Should I?
I didn't really want his perfect
pout reaching hungrily
for my own timid lips.

I didn't have a clue how to Kiss.
Didn't really want his hands
investigating the hills
and Valleys of my own landscape.

I'd never been touched by a boy.
Didn't want his face
burrowing into my hair,
finding my neck. Tasting

I'd never even said
hello to such a complete stranger.
Didn't want his smoke
making me gag, making me
want to taste something so gross.

It was all so confusing, I mean,
I didn't want a boyfriend,
no summer fling to make
me want to stay in this alien place.

Anyway, I'd be speechless, If he asked.