XxThought it was my Last NitghtxX

Last night was the lowest I've ever been
I drank the bottle... smoked the bowl, yea i was really f|u|c|k|e|d up
and i was going to do it, end my life
I had it all planed out

I said my goodbyes, prayed that I'd see Brian soon
Went to my room locked the door
Thats when thoughts raced threw my mind
Wondering who would care....

Thats when i grabbed the gun
put it right next to my head took a deep breath...
then i heard it, my baby girl crying in the next room
I couldn't do it, i couldn't leave her

Her dad already dead and shes only 5months
I can't leave her too, thats when i just broke down

I let it all out for the first time
I've been strong all my life
the way i learned to cope with things
was to show no emotion hold it all in
For so long it worked....

I know now it didn't work it never worked
It just hurt me more and over time
built up to something i couldn't handle
Life is not something to play with

Not something to give up one
Cherish it and be grateful for what you do have
Cause for me, my life's pretty f|u|c|k|e|d up
But when i took a step back and really looked at it
I have something not everyone has
people that love me and really care for me

**Well i know i said my last poem was going to be the last one....but its not..lol =).... I'm still going to write, i guess i really need to, to get all this stuff out, but thanks so much to all of you that cared love ya**