These thoughts I'm stuck with replay over and over in my head,
sorting through all of the different painful ways that could end my life,
thinking how many would care if i were suddenly be dead,
from a bullet to the head- rope on my throat- or a slice from a knife.
i didn't know what to say or what to do,
all i know is i want to be far away,
in a place where theres no lies and i can do what i want to,
but theres never going to be the perfect day.
taking the sharpest blade out from my room,
holding to my arm,
bringing it across letting it sting,
with the blood dancing down my arm.
no ones understands me and i didn't think they try,
I've been yelled at cared for,
but still on the inside i want to die.
so i cut deeper and deeper till its a crimson pour.
i hear thundering knocks pounding on the door,
and i whimper silently reluctant to respond,
my arms and my legs even my throat was all too soar,
my whole body was stunned.
someone came tearing through the door,
gasping at the horrible sight,
staring at my lifeless body on the floor,
holding onto me tight.
As i lay there in my mother arms with the last strength i had,
i showed her a note and i said i love you mother,
it told her why I'd wanted to die,
and that i couldn't get it together.
at that moment i passed away into the fiery hell,
but still i knew that soon,
that i note i gave her she'd soon tell,
why I'd decided to go.
at my funeral it was recited,
for every one i knew and loved,
"I'm sorry to everyone I'm sorry if we used to fight,
and i had to go i couldn't handle it -i love u all so very much"
