Not Now

You are not for me to keep
just to hold
you're not mine
you're hers
i love your smile
so sweet
and the way you laugh
happy happy
make the world melt away
but you're hers
i want one too
please
no i don't
that's not sensible
I'm not thinking with my head
that was me thinking with my heart
"not right now" you say
"later when I'm older"
later
i can wait
but later will be too late
"so many in the world" you say
so many i can have one of them
so cute
so cute
but no
not the same
i want my own
now
no,not now
that would ruin everything
"everything" you say
i suppose
but what if....?
no you're right
that was stupid
but i was
i could have
but it decided
it didn't want me
that now wasn't the right time
tears
tears
do you hear me crying?
can you see the cracks on my heart?
the bruises?
no you can't
you don't understand
it's okay
but i could have kept it
could have loved it
like i love you
stupid
stupid
crying
like i love you
but i lost it
"I'm so sorry" you say
are you?
yes you are
I'm sorry too

~ by bee