My very first wish

My heart is broken
my life is gone
i have nowhere to go
to sing this sad sad sad song
i pick up the knife to cut my wrists
but ti is too dull
i pick up the gun
to put a bullet in my skull
but the gun wasn't loaded
i go to swallow some pills
but i dropped the bottle
and they all had to spill
why cant i die
i don't understand
why am i still here
being tortured
in gods hands
i just want to go
theres no place for me
but yet I'm still here
its me nobody wants to see
so here i go to write this out
a very very long list
of all i wanted to be
but to die is my very first wish