As You Leave Me.

Folks,
I\'m sure all of us have often wondered about the game destiny plays with each of us , mankind has indeed landed on the Moon , sent out space vehicles to the remotest planets but alas sometimes we are so helplessly caught out in the simplicities of life.

There are often times when our Destiny , our Fate is so much outside our control , it is not decided by our actions and even as much as we want things we sit out and watch it go by.

I have been in this hapless situation many a times before but none as tragic as this one . the love of my life Adla is leaving me back and moving on in life with a new partner , now I do know the depth , the intensity , the pathos of her love for she is to an extent helpless but I wish that if only she were a little more bold......

This poem of mine goes out to all lovers who had to sacrifice for the well-being and happiness of \"others\"...
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As you move away from me
I can feel my life ebb away
I can never be the same again
I can never love anyone again.

You came into my life
but, just as a beautiful stranger,
and as you move on far from me , beyond my reach
Im parting with all that is "alive" in me.

For Im not just loosing you,
for you have now become a part of me,
Im loosing myself , my most noble dreams , desires and aspirations,
I feel crippled - a part of myself now ceases to exist.

You tell me as you try to smile, "Its just a matter of a few days"
"You will forget me , you will have someone ELSE by your side",
"Who would love you , care for you"
"And ensure that you will never miss me"

I look into your eyes and see through the farce,
O fair lady - my Love,I do see the sacrifice ,
for your smile hides a heart-shatterring grief , an inexplicable sorrow,
one so strong and real that I can touch and feel it, so heavy that I cannot bear it.

O my Love - dont you know that you are my Life , my Present and my Future?
you are my existence , your presence is the only truth I know of,
everything else is a blur , mere mechanical chaotic movements,
that you are MINE and ONLY MINE is THE Law that governs this world.

I ask you "You say a few days?,not even a lifetime would suffice"
I say "Me forget you .. yes I will forget that we have parted"
"For as long as I draw breath I would have your ineffaceable impression in my soul"
"My Love to keep you alive in my heart would be the only cause of me prolonging this burden of Life"

You tell me "The world would be still the same once Im gone" ,
I say "World - well you are my World , I dont know of any without you",
I agree "The moon would still go round the Earth which in its turn would go around the Sun,"
"But the Sun of my life would have forever set,my life irrepairably damaged ,my heart shattered beyond amendment".

I say "O my Adla , my existence , my Life , my soul , my destiny "
"All my tears are devoted to your memory , every breath dedicated to your Love"
"Each drop of blood that coarses through my veins resonates in your presence"
"In your eyes I see my Life,in your smile my happiness"

I continue as my eyes manifest the pain , you reach out and wipe my tears,
I hold your hand as you look at me , "Nay" I say , "You can only if you promise to be there everytime"
"You can see my tears,but do you not see my heart ablaze, hounded by your memories writhing in the pain of your parting"
I take your hand to my lips,kiss it,my throat all hoarse,I have lots to say but "Dont Leave Me" is all that I manage.

As I hold your hand to my eyes I can feel overrun with imminent grief,
I cannot control my tears , they flow out exuberant to make contact with their source ,
It is amazing how even what I held as my own is no longer with me , you have posessed me,
Every shred of life in me is being torn apart , I feel like a still-beating soul on a pyre.

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But I understand that you have your own set of priorities ,
Which are different from mine , for we are all differnet ,
And I accept and respect your decision ,
And I let your "physical" self go.