I Found Myself

*I wrote this poem when my boyfriend (now my ex) was in prison

I found myself today worrying what you'd think
wondering what your thoughts would be if you could see me today

I found myself today happy that you had called
Holding back tears of excitement, shame, and pain

I found myself today shaking at the sound of your voice
Hours after you had called I replayed your every word

I found myself today remembering your face
And reminiscing on the way we once made love

I found myself today in a daze, concentrating on something long gone:
Your touch, your kiss, your love

I found myself tonight sleeping with your picture under my pillow

I miss you so much, my love

I found myself today wishing I could trade your picture for you
Bargaining with God: you for everything I possess

I found myself tonight only dreaming of you
Your hugs and kisses, your body next to mine

I found myself tonight, knowing this just ain't true