Reason Why I Cry

I just got of the phone with you
You were talking about being with her
And I laughed at your stupid remarks
All to hide that I was hurt
I cant control myself anymore
Soon I will lose it
I cant help but cry inside
And feel like s h i t
But I put a hell of a show
And laugh out loud
Because in this relationship
Feelings aren't allowed
But I want to die whenever
You talk about her and you
Oh my God please show me
What I need to do
Now I cant let go of him
I love him too damn much
Now I definitely need
His love and tender touch
But every time he seems so happy
It has something to do with her
And sometimes I amaze myself
By wishing I was her
I get so mad with you
Because you will never feel
The love I dream from you
Will never be real
So I smile at you
And keep it all inside
I don't show how much pain
I really have to hide
Its so unbearable sometimes
I choke and cry in silence
Being eaten-up with jealousy
Even more with your absence
But who am I to want such things
I'm no one but the mistress
Who am I to ask for anything
I'm just a total mess
My heart split apart
By my present and my past
Knowing one isn't my future
And the other might not last
I'm stuck in his arms
I cant free myself
I don't want to let go
And find someone else
I love you and it eats me alive
You will always love her till you die
And I am just a fling for now
This is the reason I cry

Hey guys I was just blowing off some steam, I know its not that good, but whatever I didn't even write it down on paper, just started writing. Vote if you want to, thanks for hearing me out!!!

::MELI::