The days seem long, the clock is ticking fast
And I'm scared because I'm still living with the past
Days and days i sit and try to write
But nothing seems to rhyme or sound right
Since the end of summer, writing was my best friend
I could say what i want or never have an end
It's something i love that won't hurt me
And it will be here for eternity
Unlike the past which made my life so empty
And left me with horrible thoughts that are so tempting
The pencil has taken the place of the knife
A pencil will save, not take my life
I vent to the paper, not to the world
I try to hide the feelings of this girl
I have so many dreams that won't come true
Everything fails for me no matter what i do
Will someone care in the coming years?
Will i stop these oncoming tears?
Will i find a mother that i could confide in?
Will i ever know when to begin...
Will i finally take the right road instead of the wrong?
Will i figure out why I'm here all this long?
Will i forget these drugs and stop shaking?
Will i ever love instead of having my heart breaking?
Will i ever be able to get out of this town?
Will i forget these people that put me down?
Will i ever see my angels again?
Will i ever make it to my end?
So many words i would love to say
But i don't have enough time in a day
Writing it out makes it easier to do
Even though i should really be telling you
I would love to tell certain friends how i feel
To tell them I'm sorry about the pain that they had to deal
They're my reason of living, they always will be
It took a long time for me to see
I wish i could just tell Tyler everything that's on my mind
And how he will be a memory left behind
How he screwed SO MUCH up for me
And how he's useless and always will be
I wish i could confront family and tell them how i feel
To tell them my mother is fake, she isn't real
she's the reason i couldn't talk to any one of them
No more do i want to pretend...
I wish i could tell kins how much she means to me
Sorry can't fix the things i did that now i see
I've done so much freaking wrong
But you helped me all along
Then i go and throw that away
After telling you that i am OK
I wish i could tell her what she means to me
To tell her everything she made me see
My words of silence will never be heard
Because to me i sound absurd
I wish i could say what i want to
And do what i want to do
But the only words are the writing on the page
From happiness to sadness to amounts of rage
My writing is my life and it makes me complete
I love writing, but not life... why doesn't this meet?
