Fantastic poem!!! You're very talented, so keep up the great work

Honestly, i dont think u need any improvement, all u need is to say what u feel and u did a great work here.

keep it up and all the best forever.
5/5

You are doing a great job please dont stop i can feel what you are writing keep up the great work 5/5

Your doning a great job. nothing to fix.

It's a great poem! I like it a lot.. hope that you'll make the last line rhyme, but it still sounds ok. =)