To much pain

How much more shit can I take?
Its driving me insane,
I feel inside that I cannot,
Handle much more pain.

The empty packet lies on the floor,
The instruction says '2 at a time',
But I must take 20,
I pretend that I am blind.

I just dont see the point no more,
I barely even sleep,
I dread being here in the morning,
I dont even want to eat.

Yet not at eye will flutter,
Not an eye will blink,
Everyone assumes Im ok,
Dont think this girl can be weak.

But I have feelings to,
Im not just a shadow of doubt,
Im screaming out for someone,
Please someone just help!

But yet again I swallow,
And take a deep big breath,
Cut my arm with a knife,
Theres not much more room left.

Then I carry on, each passing day,
Not hoping for tomorrow,
Hold my cross necklace real tight,
Ask god for some sorrow.

i appreciate any comments or votes..i just had enough..dont no what to do..xxx..love you all...xxx