Notice Me

by Barbara   Dec 1, 2005


I look at you and I wish you would see
all the emotions burning inside of me.
You don't see a woman with a beautiful heart.
You see a little girl, who isn't all that smart.

I wish you would love me for who I am.
Stop seeing what I can't do, but what I can.
We could be something wonderful and great.
I just hope you figure it out, before it's too late.

The clock is ticking, time is almost out.
I'm starting to be filled with so much doubt.
I love you so much, this is known.
But I just don't know how it can be shown.

Give me a little sign of love and I will lay it all on the line.
If you only feel a fraction of what I do, that'll be fine.
Just give us a chance to be what we could be.
And I swear to you, you'll never be sorry.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by avery

    I loved this one.
    Your poetry makes it seem
    like you and I have a lot in common.
    Great job.
    5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Kel*bel

    I really enojoy reading this poem...it so reminds me and of me and someone! i can totally relate! great job!

  • 18 years ago

    by Ariana

    This is sweet, for the most part everything flows along nicely. On the third line I'd recommend removing the 'but' at the beginning because the it doesn't entirely make sense with the first two lines. I liked how you've kinda used casual language in this one - like the line 'who isn't all that smart.' It makes the whole poem sound more down to earth and intimate.

  • 18 years ago

    by Richard

    Absolutely amazing 5/5 barbara i love the idea

  • 18 years ago

    by Void

    Hey, great job! I don't have much in the way of constructive criticism because there's not a thing I would change. But just so that this isn't just like any other post, I'll let you know my favourite part. I love your style and the way you expressed your feelings in the beginning...
    "I look at you and I wish you would see
    all the emotions burning inside of me.
    But you don't see a woman with a beautiful heart.
    You see a little girl, who isn't all that smart."
    :)

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