Try Not to Be ME

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my life is a living hell,
not all the time,
but what's new right?
so when people ask I just say I'm fine,
~
but the truth comes out,
in the words in this notebook,
on these pages,
in these words,
~
it's not hard,
to pull a fake smile or two,
maybe even throw in a laugh,
just to make people happy,
~
but once I'm home,
the fake smiles don't work,
and they change to frowns and rolling eyes,
this is all a part of my disquise,
~
when dad reaches his edge,
he trys to scare us,
but I stand my ground and don't flinch,
I'm not giving in to this bullshit again,
~
a slap across the face,
or a toss across the room,
only makes me stronger,
you can not break me,
~
then I get back to the "safe place",
where my friends need me,
I try to be there,
but it's hard with all of this on my shoulders,
~
I want to kick his ass,
or mysteriously make him die,
for what he did to her,
doesn't deserve a breath,
~
and love,
the most complicated thing,
I've ever met face-to-face with,
to love or not to love,
~
I'm afraid to be hurt again,
every time I'm tempted to repeat it,
for him to accept my heart,
and throw it back again I can't stand the thought
~
go through this every day,
and try not to be like me,
at the end of the day,
it's time to go home and do it all over again

-Beth-