Depression

Depression

I'm feeling down and I don't know why
I feel so low that I'd rather die
Every day just seems so bleak
Me as a person I feel weak

I try to smile and to others lie
Pretending to be happy when I want to cry
I've had enough and need a break
I can't go on with the pain I make

I want to have a happy life
Without my problems and daily strife
To you, I know I must be a bore
Because only part of me you ever saw

No one knows the inner pain
Of feeling like this and feeling insane
I wish I could know who I am
But don't know where to start

For 23 years I have been a mess
But as I was quiet no one noticed
I lie and am reckless and screw stuff up
My mind, my heart is all smashed up

I want to know how to love and how to care
Because I don't understand how to be there
All my emotions just feel numb
Like I'm watching my life run and run

Penelope Matthews, 09/10/03